Hi

[Umeko]

Hi so I thought I'd maybe explain why I've been so distant I guess lately.
Might help see why, I'm trying my best but it's been really hard.

Last year I got thrown into a deep pit with very dark thoughts... the worst kind of thoughts... that's about giving up and off yourself to make the pain go away.
I didn't and went to get help.

Friends that I thought were friends stabbed me in the back and then in the chest.

This all happened between April of last year to the start of this year.
I'm still recovering, its been bad really bad.

I'm sorry I haven't said much here besides posting some content to show I'm still alive and all.

I'm doing my best, its just very hard and heavy so bare with me

Thanks 

[kiku]

Hi @Umeko , sorry to hear you had such a hard time. It was good that you went to get help.  I hope you're feeling better. 

[Umeko]

Hi @Umeko , sorry to hear you had such a hard time. It was good that you went to get help.  I hope you're feeling better. 

I'm doing my best, it gets easier everyday but its been a struggle

[Sniffles]

We've all had tough moments in life and they are certainly no fun.  It can be hard, but you gotta push through.   I hope you keep improving and can move forward!  You got a support group around you here.

[MasterXtreme]

Life has it's ups and downs.  Keep being strong, it's tough, but you got some people here who can provide moral support.  You got this, Umeko.

[Anyponedrawn]

It's okay if you are not posting often.  That isn't a requirement.   We just want what is best for you.  We're all gonna be here if you need someone to talk to, but focus on you and what you are dealing with. You made a positive step to go get help too.  That is very difficult for most to realize and do, and you did it!    Be strong. I believe you can do this.

[Umeko]

Thank you sweet beans, you've all been a huge support since I got here. means a lot, its been hard, but hearing your words and stuff makes it easier and brightens my day

[Anyponedrawn]

You calling us 'Sweet Beans' brightens my day.   I love that term.

[Grapefoot]

I cannot really add anything that has been said, but I'm sure people are thinking of you, praying, and supporting you personally all around the forum now that they know this.  If things ever get dark, remember all the people who care, love, and think about you.  Even if you can't see us personally, we're all people who think of you. People all around the world!

[Umeko]

It's been rough but I'm still here and still fighting. I'm grateful for all of you and for all these years I've been here, thank you all

[flemishcap]

I am relieved you got some help.  Those dark times are scary and I hope you never experience it again. 

[RainySunshine]

I am happy to hear you are getting better.  You have our support, Umeko.

[Umeko]

Thank you all it means a lot

[Anyponedrawn]

@Umeko

Are y'all still reading these? or look at anything I post? Kinda feel invisible lately

It's most likely because you only post in your own topics and never look or comment on anyone else's content is my deduction.

Replying to this properly, I've been keeping to myself yes.
But no one has come and asked me why, just left and stopped talking to me.
My mental state is very bad, like I've been on the edge of ending it bad.

I only got the energy to come and post then focus on not sinking.

So when I need friends the most, y'all are gone... kinda stings a bit, but I'll keep posting

Probably should have this conversation here or in private messages but...

Sorry you are in such a bad state.  :-/  We are here, but we don't keep up with every post, I know I don't.  I can't see everything.  Your daughter needs you and loves, and there are people who care and love ya out there and here.  If you need professional help, it exists, especially in your country.  It's hard for us to do much thousands of miles away.

Just know there are people who support you, even if they don't comment on your male content. 

Does doing art and stories help your mental state?  If it doesn't, maybe take a break or try getting outside help?  If it does help, then keep doing it.  I don't know much about what is going on with ya.  You come and go, then only post in your topics which doesn't leave much to work with. I hope you are okay.

I don't know if this helps or not...

https://www.folkhalsomyndigheten.se/the-public-health-agency-of-sweden/living-conditions-and-lifestyle/mental-health/

[RainySunshine]

Sometimes the best way to help daughter and help yourself is to get professional help if you haven't already done that.  Have you tried that? 

Nobody knows you need help unless you say something.