PSF
The Lounge => General => Topic started by: Claof on 2016-10-17 13:41:01
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I'm sorry for posting this here, but I don't seem like I have anyone else to turn to at this point.
Today, my girlfriend had a talk with me.
She was saying how it seems like I never compromise. Although, this is mostly true, it's because I just do what she wants instead. I've tried to explain this to her, but I can't seem to make her understand.
She and her mom are both afraid that if we end up staying together, I won't be able to support her.
I was unable to attend a school dance last Saturday. I tried to tell her that I couldn't make it to the dance for nearly a month beforehand, but she never listened. She had been told by a few teachers that what I did was inexcusable and she should break up with me. Then, when she got home, her dad called me an asshole for not going.
She stated that it's hard on her that I won't go hunting with her. I've tried to explain to her that I wouldn't be able to take the life of another living creature, even if it was going after me.
It apparently bugs her a lot that I'm an Atheist, I don't know what I can do that would make her feel better about that.
She stated that she has trouble telling me the truth because she doesn't want to cause more problems. I don't know what to do, I need help if I'm going to keep this relationship stable.
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This is a common problem.
You ARE going to have to compromise whether you like it or not. If you truly love someone, compromise is natural and happens. You even admit you don't compromise, but women want someone who can show traits of being bendable, moveable, and willing to have change.
Just from what you shared, it seems like she is really trying to hold out on you to make a move to lean on something she likes, and it doesn't seem like you have. She is giving you many chances, and skipping a dance is huge. Not being willing to even try her beliefs or be willing to listen to them is huge. Not going on a trip with her is huge.
You are still really young and have plenty of time, but if you want it to last and work out, you are going to have to compromise.
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Wow. Well, honestly, it seems like she's the one making problems. If she has problem with you being atheist and with you not being able to kill an animal, she really doesn't seem like a very considerate person. This relationship seems almost borderline like abusive. With her asking for more from you than she is willing to put in. Also with the whole compromise thing, while you shouldn't be a pushover about things, the fact that she says you need to do more is just mean. And then having her parents call you out for not being able to attend an event she was in despite you saying you couldn't go is just an asshole move.
I don't usually say this when people ask for relationship advice, but I'm gonna say, I think you should either have a very serious discussion with her and how she's not being fair, or end the relationship. She doesn't seem like someone who's all that nice, and from your description comes off as a "it's all about me" person. And that's not healthy.
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Relationships are a delicate balance of appeasing both yourself and her.
From what you are saying here, it seems like you are only completing half of this. What are you, like... 14? 15? You aren't old, so I don't know why anyone is talking about supporting someone at this age.
You can go hunting, but you don't have to kill anything. Was it a major reason you couldn't go to the dance, or was it simply you didn't want to go?
I hate to say it, but from the little I know, I don't see what you give for her and what she gives for you. What do you do for her? What does she do for you?
I think you really need to ask yourself, do you like her enough to keep this going on? Is it more trouble then it's worth or is there actually something here? Once you answer yourself that, you need to talk to her, and have a serious talk, one of those talks no one wants to have, and see what happens.
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So... how are things going, Claof?
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I'm sorry for posting this here, but I don't seem like I have anyone else to turn to at this point.
Today, my girlfriend had a talk with me.
She was saying how it seems like I never compromise. Although, this is mostly true, it's because I just do what she wants instead. I've tried to explain this to her, but I can't seem to make her understand.
She and her mom are both afraid that if we end up staying together, I won't be able to support her.
I was unable to attend a school dance last Saturday. I tried to tell her that I couldn't make it to the dance for nearly a month beforehand, but she never listened. She had been told by a few teachers that what I did was inexcusable and she should break up with me. Then, when she got home, her dad called me an asshole for not going.
She stated that it's hard on her that I won't go hunting with her. I've tried to explain to her that I wouldn't be able to take the life of another living creature, even if it was going after me.
It apparently bugs her a lot that I'm an Atheist, I don't know what I can do that would make her feel better about that.
She stated that she has trouble telling me the truth because she doesn't want to cause more problems. I don't know what to do, I need help if I'm going to keep this relationship stable.
Very thick It will benefit many more people.
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Please don't bump old topics unless needed.
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She broke up with me several months ago, so I don't need advice anymore.
@Umbreon should I lock the topic?
Claof's Custom Signature: Salve! Quam ense?
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Besides, he wasn't even giving advice, he was spouting the most random thing ever.
You could lock it, I guess.